The Story Game

[Shizara]

"What the deuce is that woman up to now?!?!?" Cat's fur stood on end, he began hissing and spitting. His ear smarted from having been pinched hard. He knew that voice and it belonged to someone he would rather forget, except, that most who were connected with the old hag were unforgettable - in more ways than one. Cat had learnt a long time ago to not be lulled into a sense of false security when it appeared that someone had disappeared because, invariably, at some point and time in the future, when you least expect it, they turned up. Fairly certain that he knew what was going on within that bag - apart from the 1812 Overture - Cat cast one eye in the direction of the old hag in the hope that whatever she was up to just might involve dinner. Clearly, what was going on within the bag bothered Cat but not the old hag as she simply carried on whistling to herself and swirling the water with her arm. Suddenly, she threw her arm up into the air and and what she had been 'fishing' for in the water came flying out, twisting and turning, sending water spraying towards the cat. Now, cats generally don't like being wet and Cat was no different but he was now caught between a rock and a hard place. In this case, that bag with so much activity going on inside and the deep water with the strange goings on within. It was a bit catch 22 really. Both the bag and the water had 'things' going on. Cat was used to 'things' going on, however, he liked to know what was going on as surprises were not his thing at all.

Completely unperturbed the old hag set about making a fire and setting her cauldron on top. Reaching into the bag, which, oddly, had now become quiet, she pulled out her wand and tapped the cauldron which was now showing signs of, shall we say, activity. In the meantime, Cat cautiously steps towards the bag and as cats do, puts his head inside to see what was going on. Of course, the old hag was watching this and cackling, knowing full well, that any moment..

[Gladys]

Thwack! ( She thought too soon) and cat was sent flying backwards, screeching in shock and pain, holding his nose which had taken on a curious reddening tinge. He was lying on his back, legs all flailing in different directions as he rubbed at the tender now bright pink nose and groaning in a caterwauling sort of way. What had just happened he had no idea or rather who or what had just had a piece of him he didn't dare imagine. ' That'l serve yer, right, that will' The old bat said in her loudest most definitely amused voice of late.' if you go sticking yer fisog in places what don't have nout to do with yer and that's what happens. I got me minder on that bag and me minder aint got no mind with you. Hmmph' She stood squarely at cat who by now had gone quiet but was still rubbing at his now twice larger than usual snout. Gathering himself together, he stood up and slunk off to sit by the couldron that seemed to offer more comfort from its bubbling and steam. From his sideways glance at the bag which he felt he ought to keep an eye on just in case, he noted it was moving again. The minder thingy must be a something she'd recently invested in because he was not aware of her having one before. He questioned to himself 'What was it and what was it minding? ' This was certainly curious. He set about firmly deciding that at some point he'd find a way of finding out. The broom was lying down by the fire, she seemed oblivious to all that had occurred but from the brush Cat could distinctly detect the familiar tinkling voice of Cleo and the more gravelly one from Elvis. They were trying but failing to whisper their thoughts on what had just happened. Never before had they seen the cat so upended. ' Did you see that?' Cleo asked Elvis repeatedly. Her voice got louder and louder with her disbelief. ' He's got a fair hooter on him now, just take a look at that' said Elvis pointing very pointedly at the end of Cat's snout. Then the two fell from their hiding place in a mesh of legs entangled as they rolled around laughing rather unkindly at cat's new face. What was worse is that the old bat joined in and all three were soon rolling and cackling together. That is until....

[Shizara]

Cat, having had quite enough of this malarky thought he would show his true colours.. Rearing up on his back legs, fully stretched out, his eyes burning, he let out an almighty ROAAAAAAAAR!!!!!! Immediately he began spinning, faster and faster and faster. Cleo, Elvis and the old hag were gobsmacked. They had seen many things in their time but never before had they seen Cat carry on like this. From the furiously spinning blur came lightening - Cleo and Elvis noted that lightening appeared to be a common feature when there were 'goings on' going on. An almighty explosion followed leaving Cleo, Elvis and the Hag heading for cover - if they could find any. When they looked again they indeed looked again because in Cat's place was something as tall as a tree - not just any tree, a biiiig one - wearing a black cape and a... What's that? A black hat with a feather on it??? Grabbing hold of the feather Cat flicked it into the air and it immediately took on the colours of the rainbow. Cat replaced it in his hat and in a flash of lightening which sent Cleo, Elvis and the old hag flying - the latter finishing up in the water - Cat returned to the form that they were used to seeing, sat down and began washing his bum as cats do, completely disassociating himself from the mayhem he had just caused.

The old hag rose to the surface of the water, waded back to the edge, grabbed her hat and thought better about creating too much of a fuss over this lot. In the meantime, almost by way of a distraction, the minder thingy in the bag that was minding whatever was in the bag that needed minding because mind you, it probably did as when not minded it behaved alarmingly. Cat's head was still ringing from the crashing and booming of the 1812. That and the beacon that purported to be his hooter which was still throbbing - in time to the 1812 he noted.

Cleo and Elvis didn't dare laugh at Cat after that lot as they didn't know what he might do next. The old hag mumbled a stream of the most unladylike language and stirred the cauldron muttering some nonsense about claws of cats and feathers. Cat, realising she was referring to himself continued with his ablutions. After all, nothing like having a wash before dinner...

[Gladys]

whilst observing the bedraggled sopping wet old hag who was concocting something good or he hoped would be good to eat. He was fairly well sure that as he was starving so was she. it had been something like years or felt like it was since they had eaten anything of substance. In fact, that was a slight exaggeration but he could hear his tummy rumbling and that always signaled a dire need for dinner; a proper one a bit like a bag full of salmon. It dawned on Cat that they never saw the salmon after they'd been stashed in that bag. ' Maybe, this is what she had in store?' he thought to himself. His eyes glazed over as he mused on the thought of tucking into one or two of those. He was sort of stuck at this moment, dribbling as he purred and dwelt on the memories of so succulent and delicious delicacies that had been so nearly not got. ' In fact , he hadn't got them, she did.' This thought provoked a wakening of his senses as he became aware of the spiders who had disentangled their respective legs but after such energy expenditure were sat puffing profusely by the side of broom. ' Haaawhooof ,puffhummph' this is what he heard from Elvis who then turned towards Cleo and then declared ' ....

[Shizara]

"I shall tell them....."

He took a deep breath, stood up tall on his 8 legs and announced:

"All your base are belong to us!"

Cat stopped in the middle of his thoughts, digested this statement and looked at Elvis as if he had completely and utterly lost the plot. He thought he had heard it all when that wretched bag came alive with the 1812 and now this crazy spider thinks that this base belongs to himself and Cleo. - Barmy, absolutely barmy.

What Elvis hoped to achieve with that statement Cleo hadn't a clue. But it sounded impressive and wondered if he had anymore such quotes up his 8 sleeves to share with them.

In the meantime Cat, Elvis and Cleo had taken their eyes off the hag and her bag. Unbeknown to them she had included some of the contents of the bag in with her brew that was bubbling away. Cat sniffed the air... He could smell something verrrry fishy and wandered over for a closer look. The old hag rummaged in the bag and pulled out some battered old enamel plates that had certainly seen better days and served up whatever she had cooking in that cauldron. Cat was surprised as from out of the bubbling brew came some perfectly cooked salmon, which, interestingly only went on to one of the battered old enamel plates. The old hag began to tuck in to her dinner, realising that Cat was watching her. Reaching into the bag again she pulled out another salmon and put it on to the other enamel plate and pushed it toward Cat. "Get that down yer neck!"

The old hag was not known for manners or etiquette and this was about the best he was likely to get by way of appeasing him for the goings on earlier. At the same time he wondered if there was a 'Finishing School' for old hags and attempted to dismiss the thought. Heaven forbid, she might come out sporting a set of pearly white gnashers, her matted hair washed and nicely coiffed, clean clothes, matching shoes and driving a Lamborghini!

Finishing his dinner Cat began to wash himself again. Elvis and Cleo had been busy repairing their web on the broom and the old hag had tidied up, put the fire out and prepared to get on the broom. "On yer get!" She kick started the broom and it zoomed off into the moonlight towards home...

[Gladys]

Whirring on autobroom, they flew through the night sky. It is a full moon and Cat noted this as they cruised by and it slid fast behind them but so beautiful in the light of the sun so far away. It seemed like an age but such a very peaceful age before they heard the familiar slow whir as broom slowed down for her landing. The old woman was asleep at the helm, she was snoring so loudly that broom coughed and spluttered as if to awaken her for permission to land. This was very odd Cat thought. He knew when she told broom to go , broom knew where and when to stop, so why had broom hesitated and coughed, hovering above a landing point that she must have been told to go to? Cat looked down , 'EEEEK, What the .....'

[Shizara]

The old hag woke up abruptly, screeched with delight and steered her broom to a suitable landing site.

Cat, having come to his senses and realising what was going on stopped his eeeking and wondered if he was going to have any input into what was about to happen. The broom was about to have its annual service and this time it was to be upgraded. Elvis and Cleo peered out from the bristles. For them this would mean a temporary eviction whilst the work was taking place. The old hag decided it was a prime opportunity to take her bag -"THAT bag" muttered the cat to himself. "THAT bag that plays the flamin' 1812!!" - and head off to collect some special ingredients.

After speaking with the broom upgraders she clicked her heels together with her battered shoes that didn't match, tripped on her raggedy hem and went face down into the stinging nettles. Cat stared at her, Elvis and Cleo wondered what would happen now but none of them had to wait long. The old hag, with her face stinging, was not about to let this ruin her day, a day that would see her broom upgraded and her bag filled from the gardens in the woods. She rummaged into her bag and found something to soothe the stinging. Off she went with Cat, Elvis and Cleo following on behind.

After what seemed an eternity she thought it was time to head back and see how work was progressing on the broom. oOo .. About time too .. oOo thought Cat. The old hag set off with the bag and began whistling a tune that sounded all too familiar to the Cat.

Coming out of the woods they could see that the upgraders had done their work and were polishing the swanky new bits. Here was Broom, fully serviced and sporting the new upgrade. An on board computer system that had been modified to work with Broom rather than takeover or compete - oOo .. A nice touch .. oOo thought Cat. But, the upgrade that was almost having the old hag wet herself with excitement... Two new options... Stealth_mode AND Teleport!!

The old hag was stroking Broom affectionately. Cat watched with interest, after all, he had never seen her behave like this before. Elvis and Cleo had already moved back in to the bristles and were busy building new webs. Cat took his place on the broom...

[Gladys]

which seemed to have a new feel to it which he thought was curious. It was sort of smoother and definitely more comfortable. Perched in position he listened as the old woman was being talked through broom's new functions by the chief upgrader who was being very precise in his detailed explanation of each and every one. They went around to the brush end and the upgrader proceeded to mention ' the Dyson ' function. Cleo and Elvis peeked from behind the bristles and heard quite clearly the instruction to keep clear of the brush as when in Dyson mode it would spin at an amazing speed barely visible to the naked eye to increase propulsion for Teleport. Cleo tinkled in a nervous way, gulped and stared at Elvis who was by now tapping all eight feet with anxiety and annoyance. After all, they'd just finished work on their new webs. He coughed to interrupt the conversation going on as it was important to establish exactly where he and his companion were expected to stow away. The cough fell on deaf ears just as ...

[Shizara]

... the old hag let out a screech, followed by "''ang on back there!!!!e We're orf!" Panic stricken, Cleo and Elvis looked at each other briefly and somehow, Elvis managed to press the invisible button that dropped them inside the now hollowed out broom. They fell directly into specially crafted seats - for spiders - that automatically secured them to the seats. This all happened within a second or two. The old hag pressed the Dyson function button and the brush end began to spin in preparation for teleporting. Cat clung on for dear life, but really, he needn't have worried either. The upgraders had done a brilliant job of it and he was surrounded by a device called a Cats Cradle or CC Securer . It does what it says on the tin. It's a cradle for cats to hold them secure.

Broom was ready for take off. The old hag pressed the "GO" button and they went, except, nobody knew where they were going. Cat suspected the old hag didn't either and this was about to present them with a problem....

[Gladys]

There was an ICat thing on the front all lit in luminous green, Cat lent forward to see clearer. The CC securer was a good fit but a bit too good; he couldn't get out. ' Eeek, Meowowowulllugh!' he shrieked as he pressed this button and then the next. As he did the broom coughed some what, spluttered and then the in board flight system announced that ' due to turbulence, the flight will shortly be landing and all on board must adopt emergency landing positions.' The spiders heard this and were screaming the ' doom, we're doomed' chant and were frantically weeving webs around themselves as neither could they release them selves from their positions. Suddenly, Elvis looked at the old bag in the cockpit to see her laughing wildly with great mirth and hearing her chuckled self chat that she had been so very clever to have the inbuilt 'as extra' stow away ' frightener ' add on added to the spec of the new broom.Elvis whispered what he'd heard to Cleo who sat dumb founded thinking ' that nasty old hag' then saying ' shall we or ought we tell cat and the broom who now doesn't know who he or she is? It is broomwash or swashbuckling after all' said Cleo to Elvis.' MMmm, lets see ' said Elvis in reply. Cat was by now catcalling big time. The Old woman was smiling with great pride at her new broom that had all singing and dancing additions except she didn't really know how to use them.The Icat thing was now orange in a frozen mode or so it said 'frozen' Cat thought and then .....

[Shizara]

Suddenly the onboard computer began flashing !!*ERROR*!! Panicking, the old hag reached for manual that wasn't there. In the meantime the computer started shouting !!WARNING!!WARNING!!WARNING!! The broom seemed to be having convulsions. Elvis, Cleopatra, Cat, the old hag were all hanging on as it leapt around and in mid air the most amazing event took place... A display of fireworks that would rival that of the London 5th of November display... Booming, starbursts, rockets, catherine wheels and at the end of the display the broom settled down, exhausted, but content. The old hag and her passengers were clearly shaken up by this and decided to land and make sure the broom was OK. Pointing the broom towards the earth they began a slow descent. None of them saw what was flying underneath the broom. The reason for the convulsions and the display of fireworks... The broom circled and made a careful, calculated landing, after all, a miraculous event had just taken place. The old hag couldn't believer her bleary eyes... A broom and a spare!! She opened her huge bag and reached in...

[cathidaw]

fishing around for a manual which may or may not be there
.She found one , but was not sure if it was the right one It didn't look very new -all tied up with some old tangled knicker elastic and broken spectacles which long ago she'd pinched off the old man she once thought fancied her..She managed to untie the specs and put them on.One lens was missing but she shut that eye, untangled the manual from the elastic, -- only to find it was for an old Meccano set. "Now" she muttered to herself......"I'll keep that, never know if it'll come in 'andy....She stuffed it back and fished around again, coming up with a.....

finding

[Gladys]

stick gizmo thingumygig wotsit. It glowed blue and seemed to whir with a pulsing feel as she unwittingly held it close to the Icat gizmo. Noticing the strangeness of this she placed it against the Icat and it glowed, whirred and pulsed brighter and faster. Thinking it might be connected she felt about on the Icat unit and located a socket thing which she plugged the stick thing into. Suddenly they and the whole broom turned green, glowing an iridescent sort of sickly slime green that spewed out all around it and them. the hue lit up the unmentionable that had been lurking quietly below. The old woman , cat and the spiders swallowed in gulps one after each other like a chain reaction. Right there underneath them, all most too close for comfort was ....

[cathidaw]

a green and red robot with one eye as big as a golf ball, just lurking there.The eye swivelled on a metal stem, the pupils shrinking to pinpoints with all these glowing things.Up and down, side to side, metallic eyebrows looking surprised as if it had never seen anything like it. Daringly the broom landed beside it. They all sat watching. Nothing happened,it just stood there -on one leg.The old woman peered closely.Its other leg was bent and twisted with nails or something hanging loose. "Verruca", she shouted, "I aint seen you for ages-wot you doin'ere me old pal, an' wots wiv yer leg.'
A tinny whining voice grated, "Ow do old gal, yerraint changed a bit."- another clang. "Me leg -oo yes, I ad a 'bust up wiv a so called mate o' mine an ' 'e pinched a few 'o me screws wen oi was restin" -a scraping sound. "Don't spose yer gorra screw or two on yer, 'ave yer me ole friend, Om gonna gerabit rusty 'obblin' arahnd."
"Wot meks yer think ah'd ave screws on me"the olds woman said. Then she had a thought, "Waitamo, I might ave somfin' in me bag cus I found one o' them there catalogues the other day that you gen me.Ow abaht thattay? Knew it ud cumminandy one day.N ever chuck anythin' that's me motta.Might be a few screws at the borrum o' me bag, but it ull tek me a time ter findum.Cum an' meet me colleegs while I look..
She jumped down to the ground and faced her odd collection of 'colleegs'on the broom , who looked worried..Robot looked scared too and trembled so much his metal bits jangled.
Stop bein' ser daft all on yer, nobodys gonnarurt anybody so ave a chat or summat while I......

[cathidaw]

look through me worldly goods.
She looked at her 'colleegs'."Cum on you lot -Dont be higorant- say 'allo to me ole mate Verruca. 'es very shy and wont 'urt a fly. Jus' looks a bit solid"
Elvis slid off the broom and puffed his chest."Wont hurt flies but how is he with spiders then"
The old crone cackled."Won 'urt nuffin, 'e wont--- scared of owt that moves, aint yer mate." Verruca trembled and rattled , his screwless leg swinging. He cleared his tin throat, sounding like an old pump. "Er... yes I................

[Gladys]

am just a rust bucket, can't seem to get the gubbins right. The old woman sat polishing the stick that she stuck into the Icat gizmo and grinned as she heard what Robot was saying. She began to cackle and then shrieked a laugh that both Elvis and Cleo shrank back into the cubbi hole that was their new travel pod. ' I tell yer' she said. ' Thems no good those old any old iron geezers.That's where you bin, ain't it old rusty?' she said looking straight at the so called Robot thingy. At this the Robot shuffled and as he or she did clanked rather loudly a lot. saying ; ' well, er, um, I got a deal, if I gave 'em this cog and that wheel , they gave me this ratchet thing 'cept it darn never did nuffing 'cept clogged the clagget whatsit thing up.' Both Spiders looked at each other quickly , then away for fear of making the Robot look stupid. 'Silently , they thought about the ' clagget whatsit thing' - what the h.....