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margaret
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.---------------------> Stay at home days. 
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| Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:12 am |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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When I was baptised, the vicar wore a fake moustache...
It was a blessing in disguise!
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:05 pm |
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margaret
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Patient: Doctor, my head's turning into a strawberry. Doctor: Here's some cream to put on it. 
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| Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:27 pm |
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margaret
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Why did J. S. Bach have so many children? He had no stops on his organ. 
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| Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:29 pm |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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I've just started a book about anti-gravity...
I can't put it down!
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Fri Jun 19, 2020 10:52 pm |
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Shizara
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:45 pm
Posts: 2334
Location: Nuneaton
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What is blue and goes ... Ding dong!
The Avon lady in the North Pole.
_________________Cool 
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| Fri Jun 26, 2020 12:14 pm |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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"Dad, can you put my shoes on?"
"No, I don't think they'll fit me."
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Fri Jun 26, 2020 9:11 pm |
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Shizara
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:45 pm
Posts: 2334
Location: Nuneaton
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Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates.
_________________Cool
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| Sat Jun 27, 2020 1:59 pm |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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I hope nothing goes wrong with government plans because I'm banking on pubs re-opening on July 4th.
Inn dependence day.
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Sat Jun 27, 2020 3:53 pm |
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Shizara
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:45 pm
Posts: 2334
Location: Nuneaton
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Swimming pools will reopen on the 4th of July....
Due to continuing social distancing rules there will be no water in lanes 1, 3 and 5.
_________________Cool
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| Sat Jun 27, 2020 6:35 pm |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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I've been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately.
The most common one seems to be: "You said you'd be home from the pub three bl**dy hours ago!"
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Sat Jun 27, 2020 9:20 pm |
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Shizara
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:45 pm
Posts: 2334
Location: Nuneaton
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My car broke down so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine.
He said “Hello Sir, you are a handsome man and very nicely dressed too".
I could see the problem...
Bat flattery.
_________________Cool
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| Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:21 am |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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I've got summer teeth...
Summer there, summer missing!
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:58 pm |
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margaret
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Frazer:
Captain Mainwaring. Did, did ye ever hear the story of the old, empty barn?
Mainwaring:
No.
Frazer:
Would you like to hear the story of the old, empty barn?
Mainwaring:
Um. Yes, yes, ehh yes, it might put us in a good mood before we go to sleep. Pay attention everybody. Private Frazer is going to tell us the story of the old empty barn. Carry on Frazer.
Frazer:
Right. The story of the old, empty barn. Well. There was nothing in it.
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| Mon Aug 09, 2021 1:30 pm |
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rebbonk
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:10 pm
Posts: 9272
Location: Coventry
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.
_________________
Of course it'll fit, you just need a bigger hammer.
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| Mon Aug 09, 2021 8:17 pm |
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margaret
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Attachment: The attachment 223625562_4151568728225183_3464271593029481239_n.jpg is no longer available
Attachments:
223625562_4151568728225183_3464271593029481239_n.jpg [ 19.67 KiB | Viewed 3457 times ]
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| Thu Sep 02, 2021 7:17 am |
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