Taken from Facebook Spotted: Rugby Town but amusing


A 68-year-old man from Rugby has reportedly been arrested on suspicion of being drunk in charge of a maritime vessel after attempting to navigate the flooded road beneath Church Lawford railway bridge following a particularly enthusiastic Sunday afternoon in the pub.
The man, who has been described by neighbours as “a bit of a character”, decided to take his canoe to the pub after correctly concluding that driving through four feet of floodwater would be dangerous.
Unfortunately, after eight pints of Guinness, three packets of pork scratchings and what witnesses described as “a very emotional argument with the fruit machine”, his return voyage didn’t quite go to plan.
Police were alerted after motorists reported a man paddling erratically down the wrong side of the road, shouting “STARBOAD” at an approaching Ford Fiesta.
Officers eventually intercepted the vessel beneath Church Lawford bridge, where the man was reportedly attempting a three-point turn while singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot…
When asked how much he’d had to drink, he replied:
“Eight pints, but I’ve been rowing, so I’ve probably sweated most of it out.”
He then became increasingly agitated when officers asked to see his boating licence.
“A BOATING LICENCE?! I’VE LIVED IN RUGBY FOR 68 YEARS! YOU DON’T EVEN NEED A PASSPORT TO GO TO COVENTRY!”
The man was arrested after failing a roadside breathalyser test, although officers admitted it was difficult to establish which side of the road he should have been on.
His canoe has been impounded, his paddle confiscated, and he’s been advised not to operate any watercraft for the next 24 hours.
Speaking from the back of the police car, he remained defiant:
“ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! THE COUNCIL CAN’T FIX THE DRAINS, THE BUS DOESN’T TURN UP, AND NOW I’M NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE THE BLOODY BOAT! WHAT DO THEY WANT ME TO DO, SWIM HOME?!”