Here's another one for you, based on a true experience. Although it is fair to say the property was not exactly up to an acceptable condition I don't think I have laughed so much in ages.

The Court of a Writer

Bouncing over the cobblestones old
A drama of laughter is about to unfold,
The key fits into the tired, worn out door
You turn the handle and walk onto the floor.
Uneven and rough; no shine to be seen
Channels and grooves; about; in between.
An armchair; so grubby; from Steptoe's I'll bet
Was it Harold's or Albert's? What a duet!
Open the oven; prepared to cook tea?
A jackhammer job; of cleaning; greets thee.
Greasy utensils and baked on grime
Cleaning first is going to take time!
Look up to the ceiling; tinged rusty I see
Hope nothing decides to drip down on me.
Ascending the stairs; they move and they creak
Hold the bannister? ; In my hand!; It's ever so weak!
When lo and behold to the bedroom I enter
The bed lines the wall; definitely off centre.
Prepared to get in and sleep for the night
I get in on the side that's not on the right.
Moving across to the side by the wall;
Joined by another who came in from the hall.
Cautioned; Take care as you sit on the bed;
We giggled as clearly the screws lost their thread!
T'was late in the night; the bed crashed to the floor
It left us in stitches; what an uproar!
More laughter erupted as we thought of Frank Spence
The wardrobe tickled our visual sense!
"Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em"; a comedy team
Frank and his Betty; the eye more than does gleam.
On the floor we slept for the next night and two
And when the last day arrived we knew what to do.
With care and patience stand the frame up again;
But Giggles erupt; a much repeated refrain!
Push screws too small into holes too big
Place the mattress and bedding on the unstable rig.
For the last time we descended the ricketty stairs
Wondering if anyone would effect some repairs.
We drove into the sunshine; after the rain things are brighter;
And so ends the tale of the Court of a writer.