It's a Dogs Life...

[Shizara]

I tend to like to look at the funny side of life. With this one, I know the actual subject is a bit ick but you need to take the tale into context. It's a true story. I lived on a farm and had 2 Shetland Sheepdogs and a cat. They were good pals but if you have had dogs or cats as pets am sure you can relate to some of the things they do. One of my dogs had eaten something dodgy and her stomach was acting accordingly. Whilst all this is going on the very resourceful cat takes advantage of the situation to "share" my breakfast......

T'was in the early hours, she sprang down from the bed,
She stood up on the floor, and brought up, what she'd been fed!
I cleaned it up with haste, and put it down the loo,
The water flushed up to the lid! "Oh, what am I to do"!
Then a short time later, while absorbed in "what to eat",
She "brought up" more and dropped it down, not far from my bare feet!
With care, and with much diligence, I parked my food up high,
The mess did need attention, 'cos the other dog came by!
He thought his luck was in, "breakfast" had been "served",
But quickly changed his mind when he saw my eyes had swerved.
Diverted by the sound, of a fork upon a plate,
Clanging with persistence, as the cat thus surely ate!
She came in, from out of nowhere, the smell of food too much,
And tiptoed over to her "prey", with paws of gentle touch!
Taking full advantage, of her "mum" who was diverted,
She was quickly cleaning up, what a dog had just inverted!
The cat picked up the fish, with aristocratic care,
But the remnants of the vegies, she prepared herself to share!
Meanwhile the hapless dog, went out to find some fun,
And went about her business, unperturbed by what she'd done!
My breakfast now was "gone", - "I must find my left shoe",
Weetbix, toast or eggs, would simply have to do.
"Put the cat outside", she's laughing at me, she is,
She "thinks" she's put one over me, and "thinks" I'm in a tiz!
I'll show them all who's boss, who runs the show round here,
But they sit back and clean their paws, and clearly show no fear!
They know that things will run, exactly as before,
Until the next one does it's "thing", and throws up on the floor!
The say it is a "dog's life", well, it is a "cat's life" too,
Unless YOU make the rules, they will walk all over you!

[Tiff]

Hi Shizara!
Very good angel!

I know that you don't know me and that we've never met,
But I'd take the whole menagerie over to see the vet.
Feckless and fickle they seem to be and so ungrateful too,
You only have to turn your back and they'll run all over you.
So next time they leave little gifts right beside your bed,
Why not get rid of the critters and get a man instead?!
I can't say if he'll be house-trained, not lie upon the couch,
Or guarantee his loyalty - that he won't turn out a grouch.
I don't know if he will groom himself as often as he should,
Whether he'll work hard for you or turn out to be no good.
Now I'm having second thoughts - would we want all that?
No, my dear, on reflection, I'd say just keep the cat!



Sorry guys - I'm not a man-hater honestly!

[chillitt]

Now man nor dog will make the bed
But we'll go and catch your tea instead
We'll put up shelves to house your books
And compliment your youthful looks

Now dust and mess may mark our route
and we might have mud on paw and boot
But we are simple, honest fair
And will protect from postmen and bear!

A life without would much less
so don't complain about our mess
Just pat our heads, and feed us snacks
To keep us happy and on the right tracks...

[cathidaw]

We had a cat named Pancho, who came in from the rain.
One night it was,she looked around and made ours her domain,
For nineteen years she ruled the roost and even ruled the rabbits
A gorgeous, dainty, tortoiseshell but with some nasty habits.
She was a thief, I'm sad to say, our food we had to hide
Undaunted she just went next door, and sneaked herself inside.
A pack of ham she gobbled up, and something on a plate,
Suddenly she heard a noise-it was the garden gate.
Quickly silently she came home,and lay down on the mat,
Neighbour scratched her head, surprised ,but never blamed the cat.
Until one day,when it was spied and chased out of the door,
A pound of sausage trailing,and dropped upon my floor.
Neighbour was not happy---an understatement that==-
And swore that if it came again-they'd shoot the dratted cat **
Peace reigned awhile,and then Pancho had three kittens in their shed,
And some months later had some more, under the neighbours bed.
We then moved house, and things were fine, at least
Until she ate the neighbour's guinea pigs-did she not have a feast!!

**(or words to that effect)

[Shizara]

Superb!!! This is proving that most of us have the imagination, the ability and the wit to take an amusing look at things... More please!

[Shizara]

Originally Posted by Tiff

Sorry guys - I'm not a man-hater honestly!

Neither am I but sharing the house with teddies can be less traumatic ;-)

[Tiff]

lol hun!
I keep telling 17 year old DS that once he finishes college next July and moves away to the next stage, that I'm going to run away from home! rofl