Help?

[jobee]

Will it be war as before?
Will they beat be to the floor?
Will ‘The Chill’ lunge his spear?
Will Optrex slap and buckle my ear?

Will Ronlyre ignore me still?
Even though I bring good will,
This time mending all my ways,
I’ll bring good cheer and halcyon.days.

Gentlemen and ladies to,
May I plead and beg of you,
Wrest the devil from my soul,
Cleanse and purify my whole.

For days I wondered round and round,
My eyes fixed sadly on the ground,
Cast aside and smitten through,
My handkerchief was sodden to.

My vitriolic tongue I hate,
Twill one day surely be my fate,
I can’t connect it to my brain,
Which long ago was judged insane.

I now return stripped of pride,
All my evils still inside,
Whilst you work, if I should yelp,
Bear in mind I need your

[optrex]

Welcome back Jobee

[jobee]

Originally Posted by optrex

Welcome back Jobee

Thank you optrex.

[Shizara]

jobee, back. It is so good to see you posting again. You really do write some heartfelt poems that are thought provoking.

Do consider putting them together as a collection. You have much to offer and much to teach.

[jobee]

Originally Posted by Shizara

jobee, back. It is so good to see you posting again. You really do write some heartfelt poems that are thought provoking.

Do consider putting them together as a collection. You have much to offer and much to teach.

I get criticised- but after going on a poetry course i decided to just doodle
rather than plan-i guess i'm just a naive doodler.

Coventry Web

[Shizara]

Originally Posted by jobee

I get criticised- but after going on a poetry course i decided to just doodle rather than plan-i guess i'm just a naive doodler.

If criticism is constructive then in can be of much benefit - albeit sometimes in the longterm - however, destructive criticism does no one any real benefit.

I have avoided poetry courses and indeed courses in art. The first time I painted in oils I was not interested in painting boring little boxes etc, I wanted to paint a picture. My first picture, a rose bud in a vase, reflected my interpretation of how I saw nature with it's depth and ranges of colour. Once I started to paint I continued in my own style, I guess, rather like a piano player who has never had piano lessons. - My Dad was a self taught musician from Liverpool. - I made that same application to writing rhymes, though, I can get bored if the style/theme is a case of tap, tap, tap repetition. So it will range from a portrait of a person, to a tale of something that happens in everyday life, to things designed to make you think. Much depending on my thoughts/emotions at the time and sometimes it is an outlet for things that are bothering me.

It is healthy and constructive to pass comments regarding the work of another. Constructive criticism hopefully upbuilds and gives food for thought.

[jobee]

Originally Posted by Shizara

If criticism is constructive then in can be of much benefit - albeit sometimes in the longterm - however, destructive criticism does no one any real benefit.

I have avoided poetry courses and indeed courses in art. The first time I painted in oils I was not interested in painting boring little boxes etc, I wanted to paint a picture. My first picture, a rose bud in a vase, reflected my interpretation of how I saw nature with it's depth and ranges of colour. Once I started to paint I continued in my own style, I guess, rather like a piano player who has never had piano lessons. - My Dad was a self taught musician from Liverpool. - I made that same application to writing rhymes, though, I can get bored if the style/theme is a case of tap, tap, tap repetition. So it will range from a portrait of a person, to a tale of something that happens in everyday life, to things designed to make you think. Much depending on my thoughts/emotions at the time and sometimes it is an outlet for things that are bothering me.

It is healthy and constructive to pass comments regarding the work of another. Constructive criticism hopefully upbuilds and gives food for thought.

I lived in liverpool for a couple of years off Aigburth rd, I left when i was 18.
I will experiment and try and get away from rhyming couplets.I dont like prose
much, maybe they are to clever for me.

[Shizara]

Originally Posted by jobee

I will experiment and try and get away from rhyming couplets.I dont like prose
much, maybe they are to clever for me.

Sometimes I think the boundaries of poetry are sometimes limited by the writer rather than by any written guidelines, which, in themselves are good, but not limiting. Poetry can take many forms and indeed, it is not essential that it rhymes either 2 lines at a time or even every second line. If it is flowing, so to speak, it will set a style almost naturally.

As for prose being too clever for you I would venture as far as saying probably not. Let your poetry 'happen', it is amazing how things will flow and take form.

There is a saying that goes "When the Student is Ready, the Teacher will appear." I have found this to be very much the case and the Teacher is not always someone older in chronological years

Keep writing jobee, keep sharing.

[jobee]

Originally Posted by Shizara

Sometimes I think the boundaries of poetry are sometimes limited by the writer rather than by any written guidelines, which, in themselves are good, but not limiting. Poetry can take many forms and indeed, it is not essential that it rhymes either 2 lines at a time or even every second line. If it is flowing, so to speak, it will set a style almost naturally.

As for prose being too clever for you I would venture as far as saying probably not. Let your poetry 'happen', it is amazing how things will flow and take form.

There is a saying that goes "When the Student is Ready, the Teacher will appear." I have found this to be very much the case and the Teacher is not always someone older in chronological years

Keep writing jobee, keep sharing.

What is your favourite poem AND artist?

[Shizara]

Originally Posted by jobee

What is your favourite poem AND artist?

There are many writers that I have amongst a list of favourites and indeed, some of my teddy collection are thus named after them. Tennyson, Stephenson, Byron, Shakespeare and Wordsworth, Without a doubt Robert Louis Stephenson is probably my favourite. As a child who loved poetry I was a regular attender at Sunday School. One year I was given, for my attendance record, a book entitled "A Child's Garden of Verses". The poem that stood out for me was entitled "Travel"...

I should like to rise and go
Where the golden apples grow;--
Where below another sky
Parrot islands anchored lie.....

This painted the most amazing pictures in the mind of a child and of course fueled the dreamy imagination that lies within. Without a doubt he has to be my favourite poet.

As a contrast, though I realize you didn't ask for that, Dr Seuss was very much a childhood favourite. He not only wrote in rhyme form which you could read superficially but there were lessons contained within as well.