A joke

Reggie · 01-06-2006, 11:55 AM

Two fish walk into a bar, one fish says to the other, "Christ I'm thirsty!"

Sorry.

Lex · 12-07-2006, 05:48 PM

How do you turn a duck into a singer?

Put it in a microwave oven until its bill withers.

M4gg1c · 21-07-2006, 04:18 PM

Jack the Lad, the boy racer, thought he'd cracked it with the ladies; he bought himself a "pick-up" truck

**Shizara** · 03-08-2006, 09:11 PM

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says "That's a nice newt. What's his name?" The man says "Tiny". The barman says "Why do you call him Tiny?". "Because", he replies, "he's my newt."

Lex · 14-08-2007, 05:17 PM

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just ARRR.

Phoenix · 10-02-2008, 09:36 PM

GIRL'S DIARY
Sunday 11th May 2003.

Saw John in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed.

I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply.

He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else.

I cried myself to sleep.

BOY'S DIARY
Sunday 11th May 2003.

West Ham were relegated today. Gutted. Got a **** though.

cathidaw · 11-02-2008, 01:28 AM

Read about the 90 year old who asked her new doctor for a repeat prescription ?
. He noticed she'd been prescribed the pill for the last few years and asked her why. She said it made her sleep .
"They wont make any difference to your sleep"he said.
"Oh yes it will" she replied, " I have a granddaughter who goes out at nights , so every morning I crush one tablet into her orange juice, then I can sleep at night"

akingston00 · 06-03-2008, 04:07 PM

a man walked into a bar.......OUCH

sorry i need mental

01-06-2006, 11:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
Reggie Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 37	A joke Two fish walk into a bar, one fish says to the other, "Christ I'm thirsty!" Sorry.

21-07-2006, 04:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
M4gg1c Oldie but goody! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Coventry Posts: 66	Jack the Lad, the boy racer, thought he'd cracked it with the ladies; he bought himself a "pick-up" truck __________________ M4gg1c

03-08-2006, 09:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
Shizara Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Nuneaton Posts: 1,134	A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says "That's a nice newt. What's his name?" The man says "Tiny". The barman says "Why do you call him Tiny?". "Because", he replies, "he's my newt." __________________ Cool

06-03-2008, 04:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
akingston00 New Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: congleton Posts: 4	a man.... a man walked into a bar.......OUCH sorry i need mental

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12-07-2006, 05:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lex Good Grief.... Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Stratford Posts: 348	How do you turn a duck into a singer? Put it in a microwave oven until its bill withers.

14-08-2007, 05:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
Lex Good Grief.... Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Stratford Posts: 348	Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRR.

10-02-2008, 09:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
Phoenix New Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Coventry Posts: 10	GIRL'S DIARY Sunday 11th May 2003. Saw John in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep. BOY'S DIARY Sunday 11th May 2003. West Ham were relegated today. Gutted. Got a **** though.

11-02-2008, 01:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
cathidaw Community Senior Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Exhall Posts: 553	Read about the 90 year old who asked her new doctor for a repeat prescription ? . He noticed she'd been prescribed the pill for the last few years and asked her why. She said it made her sleep . "They wont make any difference to your sleep"he said. "Oh yes it will" she replied, " I have a granddaughter who goes out at nights , so every morning I crush one tablet into her orange juice, then I can sleep at night"