View Full Version : It's all my fault (again)

27-03-2014, 04:18 PM
So there I was lying in bed, reading the latest book for review before deciding to sleep. Mrs Rebbonk comes in, mutters something about turn the light out (she ought have been an ARP warden!) and starts getting undressed for bed.

I did as was told (I wasn't up for a fight), turned the light out and rolled over readying myself for sleep. Mrs Rebbonk then pulls back the quilt, climbs onto the bed, and lets out a few words that would have put a squaddie to shame.

"What's wrong my little piranha fish?" I dared to ask.

"A spring has just broke and speared my backside," she claimed. "And I'm bleeding!"

Turning the light back on, I fished out my glasses and came face to face with her posterior. "Nothing wrong there my dear, no blood," I said.

"You liar, we need a new mattress, it was a spring that got me," she said.

" No my love, I don't think so. It was most likely a spider or one of the dog's fleas that bit you. It certainly wasn't a spring, and your bum isn't bleeding so can we go to sleep now please?"

Mrs Rebbonk then curses me for mentioning spiders and the like and gets into bed, still complaining her bum hurts like hell. She soon fell asleep though.

Roll on morning...

It turns out that there is no broken spring, no spiders and the dog hasn't got fleas. What does transpire though, is that Mrs Rebbonk has a small blister on the cheek of her bum. The cause? A leaking hot water bottle that she insisted (despite my repeated warnings to the contrary) filling with boiling water.

The bin men have been, the water bottle is gone, and I'm in the dog house!

One day I'll work it all out....