Today's Funny News Story

[Lex]

This provided me with a bit of a giggle this morning:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-22158829

[rebbonk]

The muppets we employ! We might well laugh at this (and it is funny) but it is symptomatic of the real problems we have in local government.

This has cost money. Someone has sanctioned this, but as it isn't their money they don't care, neither did the muppets who carried out the work.

In the past I've looked into waste within local councils, and believe me, most could easily halve their council tax bills if they got their act together.

Sorry Lex, didn't mean to hijack your amusement.

[Lex]

I did have thoughts along the same lines, but they were overridden by my laughing fit!

[Lex]

I feel a tad sorry for this woman:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-22334530

[Lex]

Yes, that's the one. Fixed the link on my 1st post too. :)

[Lex]

Today's effort:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-22833008

[Lex]

Ew; don't think I'd want to eat this cheese:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23195183

[rebbonk]

It does look a touch unpalatable doesn't it?

Mind you, as the guy says, no-one has ever gotten ill eating it! - Though how he can actually assert that I don't know

[Lex]

I think I'll draw the line at stilton - tad moldy, but basically doesn't do you any harm (unless you've got a major penicillin allergy!)

[Lex]

This is why you should check your bank account regularly, you might miss out!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23352230

[Lex]

Could be worth trip trip to take a look.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-23696994

[Gladys]

Mmm- very clever but I must remember NOT to get one!

[Lex]

Alien gargoyle spotted at Paisley Abbey:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-23810979

[rebbonk]

A stone mason with a sense of humour :D

[Lex]

Blobfish voted ugliest animal:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24040130

[rebbonk]

Yuck. Wouldn't want to meet that one face to face!

[Lex]

The latest set of IgNobel prizes have been awarede!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24061992

[rebbonk]

There are some corkers in that lot. :D

[Lex]

It definitely brightened my Friday up!

[Gladys]

Perhaps an amalgamated study between the Psychology prize and the Joint Astrology and Biology prize may aid deluded drunken people find their way home unassisted other than by the milky way.

[rebbonk]

'Go home' adverts banned

You can say it, but you must get your facts right!

http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/439/sx26.png

Source : http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24452551 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24452551)

[Lex]

Ohio man declared legally dead:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-24486718

[Lex]

American football fans cause earthquakes:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25205548

[Gladys]

It closely resembles a familiar face. I'm sure I've seen him on TV.

Oops, I don't know what happened, the thread gizmo slipped and posted on the wrong page. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24040130

[Lex]

:rolleyes:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25426263

[rebbonk]

:rolleyes:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25426263

Can't cure stupid LOL

[Margaret]

Nuts!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IviCIzY_vYc

[rebbonk]

This rather tickled me...

BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-25621200)

[Lex]

Now here's a thought....
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-25830718

[Lex]

Spot the metaphore: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25905108

[rebbonk]

Well, well, well! Who'd've thought it?

Corruption across the EU (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26014387) The map says it all!

[rebbonk]

http://imageshack.com/a/img855/1010/nmbn.png

Source: BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-26058591)

[Gladys]

Just Desserts, me thinks. Flaming (excuse the pun) NUTS! An act of blatant vandalism etc etc.

[Lex]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26270260

[rebbonk]

I'm with the cleaner!

[Gladys]

Yes, me too. I thought this story was ironically funny too. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/19/arts/design/behind-the-smashing-of-a-vase.html?_r=0

The actual artist is pictured behind the vases having just smashed one himself as a protest.

[Lex]

Looks there was a small misunderstanding when the incident was first reported: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26312580

[Gladys]

This gave me several chuckles today. Its a lovely story too. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2578238/Hilarious-moment-boxer-dog-gets-driver-seat-car-sounds-horn-paw-15-minutes-owner-took-long-browsing-nearby-art-gallery.html

[rebbonk]

Reminds me of the time I took a prototype vehicle into Coventry city centre. It was our first ever effort at computer controlled multiplex wiring.

The car developed a fault outside Coventry baths. Every few seconds the horn would sound. I sat in traffic with my hands held high so that all could see that I wasn't blasting the horn in impatience at the slow moving traffic.

[Gladys]

Haha- technology!

[rebbonk]

Seriously Gladys, give me an older car that has few electrics. These high tech' motors are nothing but trouble and the home mechanic has no chance at sorting out the problems.

Would you believe we even used a microprocessor to control the interior lights? What's wrong with a simple door switch and lamp?

And in the end, who pays for it? The customer! These days garages "fault find" by replacement, at the customer's expense. The motor industry deserves its poor reputation in many areas.

[Gladys]

I'm with you there. It seems the more high tech the car- the more computer gizmos a garage has to have to plug it into to diagnose the problem which almost always involves replacing a whole unit not just one thing because it involves a chip circuit or something.

[rebbonk]

Garages are only "black box" swappers these days. The industry has become stupid. I once had a complete car replaced (at the manufacturers cost) because the 'mechanic' wouldn't listen to common sense and blindly followed what the computer told him.

What really gets to me though, is that many times a fault is caused by poor connections. Far too many 'mechanics' don't know how to root cause a fault properly, so once they have removed a unit and fitted a replacement, you are stuck with the cost. More than once I have rocked the boat by insisting that the original unit be re-installed to see if the fault has now cleared. - It doesn't half upset them when if it has I refuse to pay for the new unit.

I trained in the aviation industry, and we always verified a fault properly. Aircraft falling from the skies is a little embarrassing!

[Gladys]

Lockhead comes to mind. I know what you say. Mr G does this all the time to our garage but Thankfully, they are old school, use current tecno stuff but also know how it is with old cars. Mr G just reluctantly sold his old Rover Sterling- in perfect condition but due to fuel costs.

[rebbonk]

The Sterling was a nice car.

Did you know that Rover used the name Sterling as it's US brand? The American's all thought Rover was a dog!

[Gladys]

Well that just about sums them up!

[Lex]

Shaman helps in search for lost aircraft: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-26564562

[Gladys]

This is rather embarrassing for the Royal Navy. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2581082/Royal-Navy-fire-9ft-torpedo-warship-nuclear-dockyard.html

[rebbonk]

Oh dear, I thought that milk tasted off!

Aunty Beeb (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26650621)

[Gladys]

Advertisers are usually quite dense about real life. This proves it.

[Lex]

Ewww: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-27258303

[rebbonk]

It's quite a serious problem that people don't realise.

A factory/storage unit near me went up in flames a few years ago, all sorts of debris came whistling through the air. Thankfully nothing quite like rotting fish though!

[Lex]

A shambles worthy of the British railways: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27497727

[Gladys]

Well, for once it isn't our problem. I heard this on the BBC News and ITV. The DM report it as well and it has the potential to cause a real problem. Relationships are already strained and so this isn't so funny.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2634400/Putin-behaving-just-like-Hitler-says-Charles-Princes-controversial-verdict-Russian-leaders-invasion-Ukraine.html

[rebbonk]

A shambles worthy of the British railways: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27497727

Disgraceful and totally incompetent. Yet those that carried out this act of gross stupidity will carry on regardless and the public are left to pick up the cost. It really is time that people were held to account.

Nice to see it's the Froggies though, I ain't keen on them! :)

[Lex]

Slighty weird: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-27515892

[rebbonk]

Strange people the Japanese.

I once worked with them, I think I'll describe the experience as 'interesting'. Do you know, they really hate having to admit that they're wrong or have made a mistake?

[rebbonk]

Now this tickled me....

Link to story (http://news.uk.msn.com/white-dee-benefits-frozen)

[Lex]

It was bound to happen, really!

[Gladys]

She doesn't seem too worried and is reported to have said she'll be a millionaire this time next year. It would seem she's being promoted to appear at various functions etc. I am not quite sure what celebrity status she is promoting though! I fail to see that being ' proud to be blatantly flouting the system brings any but obviously it did.

[rebbonk]

is reported to have said she'll be a millionaire this time next year

In her dreams! If there is money to be made it'll be those advising her and guiding her that'll make it. Manipulated, (ab)used and then forgotten by the media! - Mark my words.

[rebbonk]

Margarine consumption linked to divorce?

Aunty Beeb (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27537142)

Now, I wonder...

[rebbonk]

It would appear we have a few unfit coppers locally...

BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27581533)

[rebbonk]

Sad twisted chap.

I wonder if his wife's name is Pat?

BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-27643702)

[Lex]

Very strange indeed!

[Lex]

I found this quite humourous: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-27670099

[rebbonk]

Those Google cameras have caught quite a few interesting things. IIRC there was a web page set up to share them. (The Manchester prostitute picture has been 'cleaned'!)

[rebbonk]

Oh dear, oh dear...

you couldn't make this up! (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2647074/Malaysian-man-comes-short-buying-100-penis-enlarger-online-gets-sent-5-magnifying-glass-warning-Do-not-use-sunlight.html)

[rebbonk]

I'd like to claim this is mine, but .....

BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-27685335)

[Gladys]

Haha, You and the rest of the planet no doubt. I wonder how long the queue of claimants would be?

[rebbonk]

I know I shouldn't laugh, but this really tickled me...

Man in gorilla suit shot with tranquiliser dart at zoo (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/10878041/Man-in-gorilla-suit-shot-with-tranquilliser-dart-at-Tenerife-zoo.html)

[Lex]

Fantastic!

[rebbonk]

I know I'm wrong to laugh, but after what the banks did to us...

protest (http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/30/dirty-protest-man-poos-on-barclays-bank-floor-4781348/)

[rebbonk]

Pay for a ticket you tight ar$es, and never watch from either end of the runway...

Oooh, look an aircraft! (http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2014/07/video-turkish-f16-skims-onlookers-heads-waddington-air-show/)

[rebbonk]

Oh dear...

http://i1106.photobucket.com/albums/h364/rebbonk3/used%20as%20uploaded/This_is_the_worst_Star_Wars_exhibition_ever_Metro_ News_-_2014-07-07_172614.png~original

Source : metro (http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/06/this-is-the-worst-star-wars-exhibition-ever-4788624/)

[rebbonk]

Wind turbine generates just £5 of power

BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-28229430)

Not a completely new story, but demonstrates a lot of the ignorance and stupidity surrounding "green" power generation.

[Lex]

Pay for a ticket you tight ar$es, and never watch from either end of the runway...

Oooh, look an aircraft! (http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2014/07/video-turkish-f16-skims-onlookers-heads-waddington-air-show/)

Haha! Bunch of buffoons; no doubt they'll be sat there agan next year.

[rebbonk]

The ends of runways are very dangerous places to be! - That was always drummed into me as an apprentice.

If ever I was near a runway and an aircraft was landing/taking off, I'd always get as far to one side as possible.

[Lex]

Several reports of supernatural activity have been submitted to West Midlands Police over the past few years: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28415527

The Twilight Saga has a lot to answer for!

[rebbonk]

As someone who really doesn't like the French, this amused me...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/comedy/10985111/British-inventor-builds-giant-fart-machine-to-fire-at-France.html

[Lex]

Brilliant! I had a similar thought recently - one of those you never really act on - to organise a flash mob to moon France from The White Cliffs of Dover on the 600th anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt on 25th October 2015. Maybe someone can pick the idea up.....

[Lex]

For those who don't fancy being rude to the French (of course, they'd NEVER be rude to us Brits), maybe this could be an alternative: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2476438/Thousands-arrows-rain-Agincourt-time-600-years-English-French-historians-plan-recreate-famous-battle.html

[Lex]

Maybe not so funny, but bear this poor lad in mind next time you go for a check up: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-28437829

[Lex]

At least it's not as bad as this in the UK yet (but give it 5 years): http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-28897353

[rebbonk]

At least it's not as bad as this in the UK yet (but give it 5 years): http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-28897353

The world has gone mad, mad I tell you!

[Lex]

Just a bit! But if you believe the creationist types, humans and dinosaurs lived together on earth before the great flood.

[Lex]

Collection box thief caught because he kept a diary.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28937857

How stupid can someone be?

[rebbonk]

As you know, I'm not overly fond of the French. This has made my day...

Link (http://www.newsiosity.com/articles/society/us-flight-crew-bars-frenchman-plane-and-tells-him-take-shower)

[Lex]

And there I was thinking that the cliche was just that!

[rebbonk]

This did tickle me...

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/durham-police-hid-time-capsule-7843496

[rebbonk]

A couple of days old, but it made me smile!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2774625/Huge-turnout-Scottish-referendum-used-chase-missing-300MILLION-poll-tax-cheats-registered-vote-time-two-decades.html

[Lex]

A good bit from the Chinese government: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-29688381

[Lex]

The news is full of innuendo: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29675893

[rebbonk]

The news is full of innuendo: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29675893

There have been some very rude jokes on the internet about that particular item and a certain UK 'model'

[Margaret]

Think I'd rather live out the rest of my days without knowing what a b*** Plug is used for.

[cathidaw]

DID ANY ONE READ ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO SAW HER HUSBAND, ON U-TUBE, GETTING MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN IN AMERICA.
He was on a business trip!!

[rebbonk]

I don't know if this is a hoax or not, but it made me smile

http://www.smh.com.au/world/twitter-reacts-to-tony-blairs--terrifying-christmas-card-20141202-11y8nn.html

[cathidaw]

I t has been described as ' STILL LIFE WITH A COUPLE OF CORPSES.'
I must say it does look grisly.
I wondered if it was spam.

[Margaret]

It looks photo shopped or something, notice how much bigger Blair's head is next to that wife of his.
I call her Lady Macbeth. It is a much younger picture of them.

[Lex]

This brought a grin to my face: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30462825

[rebbonk]

That looks an expensive proposal

[Lex]

Something to make you feel better about yourself: http://www.viralnova.com/funny-stupid-people/01/

[rebbonk]

You really can't cure stupid!

[Margaret]

What are they on?

[rebbonk]

Oh dear, oh dear. (laughing like a silly schoolboy)

British Airways flight to Dubai forced to return to Heathrow ....

Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/aviation/11472627/British-Airways-flight-to-Dubai-forced-to-return-to-Heathrow-due-to-smelly-poo-in-toilet.html)

[Lex]

Trebuchet sets building alight; quite amusing: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-32264914

[rebbonk]

Well, this tickled me

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-32690534

A bit risqué certainly, but surely in this day and age...?

[rebbonk]

I shouldn't laugh.... and the BBC ought be more careful how they write stories up...

Poor woman.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-34115350

[rebbonk]

I will not be taking Mrs Rebbonk to McDonalds if it does this to you!

Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11891273/Randy-couple-indulged-their-animalistic-lust-after-being-kept-waiting-at-McDonalds-drive-thru.html)

Good God, perish the thought!

[Lex]

You think our authorities waste money: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-35372960

[Lex]

I wonder if this was really an accident, or just someone unable to understand the concept of an electric kettle: http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/local-news/smoke-alarm-saves-family-after-11309711

[rebbonk]

Never underestimate the stupidity of people and no amount of fool-proofing can defeat a determined fool. :) :) :)

[Lex]

I'm a great believer in the stupidity of the human race - and I include myself in this! (take the log out your own eye etc...). I'm often amazed how long the human race has lasted as long as it has.

[rebbonk]

Oh dear me...


Swedish footballer sent off for farting during match

Source: guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/jun/22/swedish-footballer-sent-off-for-farting-during-match)

[Lex]

That is bordering on pathetic. Ok, so most footballers are overpaid fairies (if a rugby player rolls around on the floor clutching his shin, he'll be genuinely injured), but they should be allowed to get away with a bit of 'blokey' behaviour.

PS, despite that, I do find it funny, but then I'm just a big kid!

[rebbonk]

I laughed like a drain Lex. Even Mrs Rebbonk thought it was pathetic.

[Lex]

Red faces all round: http://www.nuneaton-news.co.uk/police-made-this-awkward-discovery-after-responding-to-999-call/story-30510038-detail/story.html

[Lex]

Another good one: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-41268025

[Lex]

This is an hilarious example of human stupidity: http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/uk-world-news/shocking-moment-prankster-uses-backside-13849771

[rebbonk]

You just can't cure stupid!

[Finebyme]

This is an hilarious example of human stupidity: http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/uk-world-news/shocking-moment-prankster-uses-backside-13849771



It's one of those things you don't know whether to cry in despair of the youth today! How are they going to make it through life?

[Lex]

171

[Lex]

I'd let this go to court, just to see the look on the judge's face: http://www.stratford-herald.com/81249-council-left-red-faced-parking-ticket-error.html

[rebbonk]

Right link Lex?

[Lex]

I'd let this go to court, just to see the look on the judge's face: http://www.stratford-herald.com/81249-council-left-red-faced-parking-ticket-error.html

Should be right now!

[rebbonk]

As long as he's taken adequate steps to 'educate' the ticket issuer that might well be an interesting case to watch. The Judge could award quite 'generous' expenses to the ticket holder.

[Lex]

What common email phrases really mean: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6429337/What-office-emails-REALLY-mean.html

[margaret]

Oh dear me...



Source: guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/jun/22/swedish-footballer-sent-off-for-farting-during-match)


I take it a match wasn't lit! :...... :eek:

[Lex]

A driver went to a police station in an uninsured Lamborghini to pick up another uninsured car that was taken off him earlier: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-48871096

[rebbonk]

Bit like this muppet...

Liverpool Echo (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/heads-fell-here-echo-readers-16522655.amp?206=&__twitter_impression=true)

[Lex]

Impressive bit of honesty: https://www.rugbyadvertiser.co.uk/news/people/rugby-man-offers-his-sexy-200-vauxhall-corsa-for-sale-in-hilariously-honest-advert-1-8990132

[rebbonk]

Ah, the beauty of red cars.

Often these polish up quite well

[rebbonk]

the old joke comes true...

Coventry Telegraph (https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/rugby-police-trapped-pub-toilet-16803228)

[rebbonk]

Well, this tickled me...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYu6ulVXgAEjrz3.jpg

[Lex]

Nothing like leading by example.

[rebbonk]

Nothing like leading by example.

And that was nothing like leading by example. :)

It wouldn't be so bad if the muppet had held his hands up, but his arrogance is going to get him. He believes his own PR.

[Lex]

I have a feeling that Boris is reluctant to let him go, as he's the ideas man behind the PM's 'strong' leadership of the country.

[rebbonk]

He knows where the bodies are buried

[Lex]

Found this amusing: https://www.thelizardpeople.com/illuminati/woman-finds-satanic-message-in-monster-energy-drink/

[margaret]

http://pa1.narvii.com/6503/1f2e5a983b6cc04afbfe9fc50c7eb9d68ba5f13a_00.gif


She quoted Christ saying, '' my people perish for the lack of knowledge''.

Well isn't she showing herself up as a prime example of 'lack of knowledge' and sharing her hair-brained crap with other gormless people.

[rebbonk]

Well, that made me smile.

[Lex]

Business names rejected by Companies House: https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/offensive-cheeky-business-names-rejected-21517142

[rebbonk]

I saw a few of those back in the 90s. Good humour doesn't date.